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Psychologist | Speaker | Media Expert | Workplace Consultant | Researcher

TV's reality enters final phase

(by Heather Colpitts, Langley Advance)   Aldergrove's financial families are taking on a very business-based challenge.   As the filming winds down in December for the reality TV show Million Dollar Neighbourhood, the participating families will take part in Pitch…

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My mother has perfected the guilt trip

The question:


My mother has perfected the guilt trip. Nothing I do is ever good enough. If I visit for a day, I should be spending the night, for example. I’m an adult woman with a life of my own. How do I get her to back off without hurting her feelings? She’s very sensitive.

 

The answer:


The power of our thoughts and expectations is stunning. On your next visit, remind yourself that you are ultimately in control of how you feel. Your mother (if past behaviour dictates future behaviour) will likely throw in a critical comment or two.

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My friend can't stop pining for the wrong guy

The question:


My friend has been pining over a guy who is stringing her along. It’s been over a year now. How do I convince her it’s time to move on?

 

The answer:


Unfortunately, when it comes to matters of the heart, there is very little if anything that any of us can do to “convince” someone to feel (or not feel) a certain way.

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Fighting bullying is not just a job for schools

(by Geoff Johnson, The Victoria Times Colonist)

 

Bullying is a learned behaviour. Kids learn to be bullies, often from growing up in an environment devoid of empathy as a value. Sometimes bullying is learned from a larger, more powerful bully – an older child, a parent, an adult acquaintance, an authority figure or maybe even a teacher.

 

Kids learn about bullying because someone with power has made them feel helpless and disrespected – even frightened. Kids know bullying is unjust. An in-your-face injustice that leads to helpless anger and an undefined, unresolved fury that eventually leads to bullying.

 

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My wife is inconsolable after three miscarriages

The question:


My wife is inconsolable after three miscarriages. What can I do?

 

The answer:


There are a number of things that may be help your wife through this difficult and understandably emotional time.

 

First, resist the tendency to problem-solve. Let her know that you love and care about her, and that you want to support her as best as you can. Acknowledge that you don’t fully understand or appreciate what she is experiencing, but communicate that you want to understand. Then listen to her.

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Grove on board with trolley

Grove on board with trolley: Langford lends Aldergrove a trolley as the community research how to improve local tranportation (by Heather Colpitts, Langley Advance, November 8, 2011)   From the moment they saw it, Aldergrove residents fell.   Aldergrove is…

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